Bingo Night Unleashed!
by Two Very Amused Authors
Summary: WARNING! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED! otherwise...read and laugh your as-HEAD off...
1. Default Chapter

A/N- Ashes of Reality- * Jumps up and down* New Fanfic! New FANFIC! ^_^  
  
Human Chew Toy- * Points at screen* that's my name!  
  
Ashes of reality-*Grabs hairbrush and uses as microphone, taking on radio DJ voice* Hello, Everyone! You are reading 'Bingo Night Unleashed'! Where there is bingo...we don't know. But it is a crazy zany hilarious story that you will LOVE! Hopefully... ENJOY! *Pretends to click off mic/hairbrush *  
  
Human Chew Toy- * grabs brush* gimme that. She forgot to tell you that most likely the only character would be us!  
  
Ashes of Reality- * ... * Stupid, you forgot to turn it on. -.-  
  
Human Chew Toy- -_-; Oh, btw, if you are easily offended by lewd references to various characters and actions, I wouldn't advise reading this fic! Lol, It may be funny to some (like us) and not to others (potential flamer)  
  
Ashes of Reality- * Bursts out laughing *  
  
Human Chew Toy- Wait...that didn't come out right....  
  
Disclaimer: We don't OWN ANYTHING OR ANY REFERENCES IN THIS FIC! DON'T SUE US!  
  
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Kenshin: *Doing laundry and singing* Sometimes, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard I try...  
  
Kaoru: *stomps out and whacks Kenshin with bokken* would you shut up?! I am meditating in here!  
  
Kenshin: *falls forward and ends up drinking laundry water*  
  
Kaoru: You are so inconsiderate, Kenshin! *Storms back into dojo*  
  
Kenshin: *hiccups soap bubble*  
  
Sano: *strolls in with beautiful woman on his arm* Oi! Kenshin! Meet Keia! *Grins stupidly*  
  
Yahiko: *runs through yard naked, screaming*  
  
Megumi: *running after Yahiko wearing frilly lingerie* Oh Little Yahiko!  
  
Kaoru-*stomps back out and starts screaming at everyone to shut up* I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!  
  
Kenshin: Oro! *Hiccup soap bubble * Do you really hate me Miss Kaoru?  
  
Kaoru: Yes! LEAVE ME ALONE! T.T  
  
Megumi: * Notices Sano with Keia* SANO! WAH YOU MEANIE! * Plops on ground and mysteriously conjures peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich.*  
  
Yahiko: * hiding behind tree* o.o  
  
Sano: *to Keia * Why can't you magically produce peanut butter and jelly?!  
  
Keia: *grins * I can produce much better things than that...  
  
Megumi: *sandwich pauses halfway to mouth * -_-  
  
Everyone except Keia and Megumi: o.o  
  
Keia: ^_^  
  
Kaoru: * strolls out passively before beating Keia to a pulp*  
  
Everyone: c.C  
  
Keia: x_x  
  
Kaoru: What? She was smiling too loudly! NOW SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!  
  
Sano: *grumbles as Kaoru stalks away * Talk about PMS...  
  
Kaoru: MOU! *Bokken flies out of dojo striking Sano full in the head *  
  
Saitoh: *rides through yard on bucking bull in full cowboy attire* WHEE!!!  
  
Everyone: (*.*)  
  
Yahiko: *runs after Saitoh and jumps on back of bull, clothes have magically appeared. * (Why? Because we say so!)  
  
Saitoh and Yahiko: YA HOOOOOO! *Bull runs out of yard*  
  
Kenshin: T.T Miss Kaoru hates me!  
  
Megumi: *offers rest of PB&J sandwich to Sano*  
  
Sano: *practically bites Megumi's hand off when taking it* I LIKE sandwiches!  
  
Kenshin: I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! *Throws self flat on ground*  
  
Kaoru: *from inside dojo* IF ALL OF YOU DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I WILL FUTAE YOUR KIWAMIS!!!!!  
  
Sano: HEY! That's my line! I FUTAE KIWAMIS!!! *Tears spout out of eyes*  
  
Megumi: You can Futae MY kiwami...  
  
Sano: *grabs her hand and drags her into dojo*  
  
Kenshin: Everybody left me...*goes back to doing laundry and singing* Total slaughter, total slaughter, I won't leave a single man, alive. Ladidadidide, genocide. Ladedadedad, an ocean of blood...Let's begin, the killing time...  
  
*Random person walks by and hears Kenshin singing *  
  
Random Person: The Battousai has broken his vow! Hades has been brought to earth! WAAAH! *runs into dojo gate *  
  
Kenshin: ^-^ You need to wash out your mouth! Open wide! *pours laundry water in R.P.'s mouth*  
  
R.P.: *Glug* *Gasp**Choke*  
  
Kenshin: Now isn't that better? Oh...what's this? *Kenshin finds pop rocks in R.P.'s pocket*  
  
R.P: NO! MY ROCKS!  
  
Kenshin: Ohhhhh...pretty! *Reads label* For eating?! OK! *pours some in mouth*  
  
R.P: @.@  
  
Kenshin: AH! *pop rocks pop* POPPY POPPY!  
  
*FBI agents storm the dojo*  
  
FBI: Huphuphuphup *surround R.P*  
  
Kenshin: *still freaking over pop rocks* *accidentally takes out all the FBI.* Oooopppps...  
  
FBI: X.X  
  
R.P. Thank you for saving me! *Stands*  
  
Kenshin: More pop rocks! NOW! *Begins to go Battousai*  
  
R.P: Be Right Back! *Runs away*  
  
Kenshin going Battousai: *sits on ground staring at door*  
  
*Crickets chirp*  
  
*7 days later*  
  
Kenshin: *Still sitting staring at door*  
  
Kaoru: *bounds happily out of training room* Kenshiiiiiiiiin!  
  
Kenshin: *staring at door*  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin? *THWACK!* LISTEN TO ME!  
  
Kenshin: *stares at door from tipped over position*  
  
Kaoru: *scourges Kenshin with bokken*  
  
Bokken: *BokBokBokBok*  
  
Cadbury bunny: Hey! That's my line! BOK BOK BOK!  
  
Tom Green: Mom? Mom?! MOM! *Wanders around dojo*  
  
Kenshin: *grabs Cadbury bunny* FUZZY! *Squeezes bunny*  
  
Bunny: Can't...breathe....dying...BOK!  
  
Animal rights activist: Let that poor innocent creature go! *shoots Kenshin with tranquilizer gun*  
  
Kenshin: *runs around frantically* Ah! I just wanted to pet the fuzzy bunny!  
  
Bunny: Bok. Bok. Hehe you're in trouble. Nenenenenene ne.  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin has a fuzzy fetish.  
  
Kenshin: *Going Battousai at Bunny* that I do.  
  
To BE continued! LOL! YOU CAN'T STOP US! WE'VE CONTINUED ALREADY!!! HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Human Chew Toy: Hahahahah! Review or it gets even worse! Oh wait...nvm.  
  
Ashes of Reality: *writes furiously* 


	2. The Insanity continues

Chapter 2!  
  
A/N: Hope you aren't offended...or angry. I have a presentiment of many flames on this one...heh I hope it isn't too harsh...  
  
Disclaimer: BELIEVE ME, WE DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS STUFF! NOR DO WE WANT TO!! LOL ESPECIALLY AFTER WRITING ABOUT IT!  
  
Why did the elephant get on the dogs tail...? ...He didn't know why...  
  
Like our Fanfic!  
  
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(Last time on Bingo Night Unleashed!)  
  
Animal rights activist: Let that poor innocent creature go! *shoots Kenshin with tranquilizer gun*  
  
Kenshin: *runs around frantically* Ah! I just wanted to pet the fuzzy bunny!  
  
Bunny: Bok. Bok. Hehe you're in trouble. Nenenenenene ne.  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin has a fuzzy fetish.  
  
Kenshin: *Going Battousai at Bunny* that I do.  
  
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FBI: *Wake up* Huphuphuphup *arrests A.R.A.* You're under arrest for tranquilizing the fuzzy fetish man!  
  
Kenshin: Oro?! *back Battousai* You gonna DIE bunny. You.gonna die!  
  
Bunny: Bok? O.o  
  
Kaoru: Why can't he have a ME fetish? WHY?! T.T  
  
Kenshin: *draws sword*  
  
Bunny: *sumo bunny!*  
  
Kenshin and FBI: o.o  
  
Kaoru: WHY?! T.T  
  
Bunny: *chases Kenshin*  
  
Kenshin: RUN FOR THE HILLS!! * runs*  
  
Bunny: BOK! *Sumo bok*  
  
Kenshin: I think the tranquilizer is kicking in. *staggers*  
  
Bunny: HA! You are mine! SUMOOOO....ATTACK!  
  
Tom Green: *wanders back around dojo* Mom?! Mom! Mom? *Sees sumo bunny* MOM! *grabs bunny and starts kissing*  
  
Bunny: Damn you let me go! SUMO! AH!  
  
Tom Green- You aren't mom! LIAR! *throws bunny*  
  
Bunny- Aaaaahhhhhhh...*flies over dojo wall*  
  
Tom Green- *wanders off again* Mom? MOM! Mom?!  
  
Kenshin: *snores and murmurs in sleep* Turnips...  
  
Kaoru: *Still complaining and going on about Kenshin's 'not-her' fetish* T.T  
  
Bill Clinton: *runs in* Hey missy...  
  
Kaoru: AH! PERVERT!  
  
Clinton: O.O I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANY OF THOSE WOMEN! *runs away*  
  
Laundry Water: *bubble*glub*bubble*  
  
Saitoh and Yahiko- *run through yard, bull close behind* AH!  
  
Kaoru: *all alone* Before when I said I wanted quiet I really didn't mean it. ALL I WANT IS TO BE FANTASIZED ABOUT!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?!?! T.T  
  
Kenshin: *wakes immediately* NOOOOOO MA'AM!! *falls asleep again* Oh Kaoru, sumo bunny of my universe.  
  
Kaoru: That's not EVEN right.  
  
Laundry water: I vant to vash your hands...  
  
Kaoru: o.o  
  
L.W.: *bubbly-ish* Come little one, let me vash your hands..  
  
Kaoru: *in trance* must...obey...laundry water....  
  
Pop Rocks: NOOOO! DON'T DO IT!!!!  
  
L.W.: *angrily* DAMN YOU POP ROCKS! I WILL QUENCH THY POPPINESS!  
  
FBI: Huphuphuphup *stop* Did someone say poppies?  
  
Tom Green: DRUGS! Wait...I...uh I mean...MOM!  
  
Mr. Oescher: I could have bought a bra for less than a penny. *thinks deeply*  
  
Tom Green: DUDE! Don't forget the panties!!!  
  
Mr. Oescher: Theoretically, the concepts of math have been taught to EVERYONE (except me) incorrectly, and since Oescher is a college math teacher, he doesn't want you to imitate him...SO HE WILL COPYRIGHT HIMSELF! *mutters* I wonder if I can yell at some copyrighting company...  
  
Turkeys: gobble gobble gobble...*wander aimlessly*  
  
Tom Green: OH! TURKEYS! *sneaks up to turkeys* BOO!  
  
Turkey: *stands ground* BRING IT ON!  
  
Tom Green: o.o  
  
Pencil: Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling...*Sings deeply and mournfully*  
  
Pens: *Dance across dojo wall*  
  
Mr. Oescher: *watches pens* If math teachers ran the world, there would be half as many words. Up, not up. Pencil, not a pencil...*rambles on*  
  
Alligator: *sunning self happily* *sigh*  
  
Steve Irwin: Ah, she's a beaut! Crikies! *sneaks around alligator*  
  
Alligator: *rolls eyes* I'm a guy.  
  
Steve: *lunges at alligator*  
  
Pencil: It's a grand ole flag...  
  
Kenshin: *waking up again* Mmm...Miss Kaoru?  
  
Kaoru: ^-^ Yes, Kenshin?! Were you dreaming about me?! Do you have something to say?  
  
Kenshin: *raises eyebrows* Did you finish the laundry?  
  
Kaoru: -_-;  
  
Laundry Water (L.W.) : hehehe...I ATE IT!  
  
Kenshin: WHAT?! OOP. I mean ORO!?  
  
Kaoru: *starting to cry again* T.T You don't love me! WAH!  
  
Mr. Oescher: Clean laundry, not clean laundry...love, not love.  
  
Kenshin: Do you EVER shut up?  
  
Mr. Oescher: Oescher feels chastised. You may be bigger than me but-no wait you aren't even bigger than me, well, no matter what, I'm still 'not dumb- er' than you!  
  
Random Person (R.P.) : Pop Rocks for scary Battousai!  
  
Kenshin: *Battousifies immediately at sight of pop rocks* Come.  
  
Kaoru: Ken...shin  
  
R.P: I'm afraid. *knees tremble*  
  
Kenshin: *walks around corner* Hey! I'm two separate people!  
  
Kaoru: o.o...^_~  
  
Battousai: *draws sword* POP ROCKS.  
  
Kenshin: What are you doing?! Killing is BAD!  
  
Kaoru: *looks to Kenshin, to Battousai, to Kenshin*  
  
Oescher: Dead, not dead...wait. Didn't I stop that? *stares at sky* Hm...the locusts are thick today...  
  
Pop Rocks: DON'T EAT ME!!! *to Battousai*  
  
Battousai: *Picks up bag* MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kenshin: NO! *grabs Battousai, rolls him into a ball and swallows* There...you will not escape again! *BELCH!*  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
Oescher: Wouldn't that be considered killing?  
  
Kenshin to R.P: May sessha have the pop rocks?  
  
R.P: Who is sessha?  
  
Kenshin: ...  
  
R.P: What? *dumps bag of pop rocks in mouth*  
  
Pop rocks: *POP POP POP!*  
  
Kenshin: You shouldn't have done that...*eyes turn amber*  
  
R.P.: O.O  
  
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A/N: Oh the joys of insanity! Thanks to those that have reviewed, as soon as we get the rest all typed up we'll post it! Yay! 


	3. Another Spin on the MerrygoRound of Insa...

Chapter 3!  
  
A/N: This fic needs no introduction. Here ya go!  
  
Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be scary if we owned RK?  
  
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(Last time...)  
  
Kenshin: You shouldn't have done that...*eyes turn amber*  
  
R.P.: O.O  
  
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Battousai: MWAHAHAHAHA! I've taken over again! *turns serious* Pop Rocks.  
  
Random Person (R.P.): o.o Someone save me?  
  
Kaoru: ^-^ Hehe...  
  
Battousai: *Backs R.P. into dojo wall, pointing his reverse-bladeat R.P.'s throat.* It may be backwards, but the...cutting side...is just as sharp!!!  
  
R.P.: *flattens self against wall* A little help here?! *squeak*  
  
Battousai: *snarls* Did I say you could move?! Now, Pop Rocks.  
  
R.P.: But you said not to--  
  
Battousai: NOW!!!  
  
R.P.: Yes sir! *quickly*  
  
Kaoru: *mentally* Battousai, Kenshin, Battousai, Kenshin...ACK! Decisions!  
  
R.P.: *digging through pockets* Um...I seem to have misplaced them...  
  
Battousai: You better not have said what I think you just said...  
  
Kaoru: *thinks to self* You know...the Battousai is sexier than Kenshin. I wonder if he fantasizes about me...I bet he does... *out loud* Oh Battousai! *runs with arms outstretched*  
  
Battousai: O.O ORO?! *eyes fade to violet*  
  
Kaoru: HEY! *thwack* I want him back!  
  
R.P.: *sneaks away*  
  
Kenshin: But Miss Kaoru! *large purple bump has appeared on head, wobbles when he talks*  
  
Kaoru: *sigh* I guess you will do. *jumps into arms and kisses passionately*  
  
Kenshin: O.O......o.o......^x^  
  
Kaoru: *to self* Now how can I bring Battousai back...?  
  
Kenshin: ^x^  
  
Kaoru: ^x^  
  
*Three Days Later*  
  
Kenshin: ^x^  
  
Kaoru: ^x^  
  
Sano: *walks out of dojo*Ladi Dadi Da...OH NO! KENSHIN AND KAORU ARE FROZEN TOGETHER! MEGUMI!!!  
  
Megumi: *in background* I'm ain't movin'.  
  
Sano: ^.~ *runs back into dojo*  
  
Yahiko: *walks in wearing Cyborg 009 uniform* Hey. I got kidnapped by BLACK GHOST. Now I must kill you all! MWAHAHAHA!  
  
Kenshin: *sends telepathic signal* Can't you see we are busy here?!  
  
Yahiko: AH! THE VOICES!! *curls into fetal position, sucking thumb*  
  
Slim Jim Dude (SJD): EAT ME!!!  
  
Saitou: OH! *grabs him*  
  
SJD: AH! NO TOUCHY! OWWW!!!  
  
Saitou: Mmmm....*takes big bite* Tastes like chicken!  
  
Chicken: I find that offensive! I'll sue your ass!  
  
Cardboard cow: Eat more chicken! *walks towards Saitou*  
  
Saitou: HOLY HELL! KUSO! AHHHH! *drops SJD and runs away*  
  
Tom Green: *sees cow run by* Hey, I know you! *chases cow chasing Saitou*  
  
Oescher: I've gotten not full--er...hungry while watching you two make out for three days.  
  
Kenshin: *battousified* *growls against Kaoru's lips*  
  
Kaoru: *giggles*  
  
Chicken: Just don't think about eathing ME. *to Oescher*  
  
Oescher: Chicken, not chicken...wait...everything's chicken...  
  
Saitou: *runs from Cardboard Cow* AHHHHH! KUSO!!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!  
  
Kenshin: ~x~;;;;  
  
Kaoru: ^x^  
  
Oescher: Breathing, not breathing. Dead, not dead. WAIT! I've said that already!  
  
Chicken: Dancing SPERM!!  
  
Saitou: I am sperm?! DUDE!  
  
Yahiko: *stops sucking thumb and looks at Saitou, who seems to have become a teenager again*  
  
Saitou: Where's the love? *digs through pockets* AH! SOMEONE STOLE MY DOOBAGE!!  
  
Chicken: Wasn't me!  
  
Cardboard Cow: Dude...look at all the colors...my hooves can touch anything but themselves...OOOOOHHHHH....  
  
Saitou: *takes stance of Gatotsu* Drop the doobie...  
  
C.C.: I AM INVINCIBLE!  
  
Saitou: *attacks, cutting cardboard to pieces*  
  
Chicken: AHH! MURDERER! AH!  
  
Saitou: *shops chicken's head off*  
  
Kenshin: OxO  
  
Kaoru: ~x~;;;;;  
  
Saitou: Mine. *picks up doobie* Heheheh...*looks at chicken*  
  
Yahiko: Oh yeah, I'm supposed to kill you. *stands up and walks towards Kaoru*  
  
Kenshin: *opens eyes to reveal amber eyed stare*  
  
Yahiko: *rolls eyes* I'm a cyborg remember. *pulls Kaoru away from Kenshin*  
  
Kaoru: *pout*  
  
Battousai: Oh that was NOT smart. *flips sword over to sharp side and whacks Yahiko's arm*  
  
Oescher: *in background* MY LINE! That was STUPID!  
  
Arm: *clang*  
  
Saitou: DUDE! Look I'm a punk! *spikes hair*  
  
Yahiko: *overdramatic* Oww...I am in so much pain. *lets Kaoru go*  
  
Battousai: NAH! SHE IS MINE!  
  
Kaoru: OH yeah!  
  
Battousai: *picks up Kaoru and darts into dojo*  
  
Saitou: I wonder what they are doing... *giggles*  
  
Dalmation: *runs through yard* Woof! Woof!  
  
Saitou: I'm hungry...Hm... *Chases Dalmation*  
  
*15 minutes later*  
  
Kaoru: The almighty Battousai ain't so almighty. *walks into yard*  
  
Battousai: It's not my fault! It...It's cold!  
  
Kaoru: Hey...didn't we have a dalmation?  
  
Saitou: *comes back* You HAD a dalmation...  
  
Yahiko: Mr. Dancing SPERM! He ate your dalmation! *looks at Oescher, who is in the process of hanging pens out of his ears* Who is he?  
  
Oescher: NOT pencils...LASER SURGERY! MUST...NOT...GAH! I BLINKED!  
  
Saitou: Heh, Blink182! *busts dance move and starts singing 'Dirty Grandpa' song.*  
  
Kenshin: I don't know what's scarier, his dancing or his singing.  
  
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A/N: hehe...To BE CONTINUED! hehe... 


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